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Stopadoodledoo is part of the Cushtie Media Empire; comprising a scabrous magazine about mountain biking, a novel about kebabs & Croydon, some mp3s from a twisted genius living in Penge, and whatever else we can think of.
Here's inspiration for you...
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Some Links:
Cycling in the Garden of England - it's full of shopping trolleys and wasps (and these people),
www. Chain Reaction Cycles .com - happily selling us bike parts nice and cheap, faster than we can break them,
www.chocolatefoot.co.uk - because we're too lazy to build our own forum,
UKDirt - ooh, they're filthy Shitshifter - ooh, they're XC... More linkage here...
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A magazine about drunks & imbeciles, written by bicycles
T-SHIRTS - Click here to find out how to purchase!
12 July 2006 Whoops. We've been very lazy, and then forgot how to update the home page on the site. Never mind. Go to our new blog for all the latest (soon to include a EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with a top DH star here
30 September 05: We're thoroughly ashamed of ourselves: Issue 6 still isn't done. But it's close. Damn close. Now Cushtie's stopped doing marathons and Jason's got back to a legible level of sobriety, we're working like mad to get it done before Halloween. And what a treat it'll be.
We've got another example of gonzo mentalism from our American correspondent, an exclusive look at the 2006 Kona range from FG, Cushtie's pathetic whimpering about the Megavalanche and much more besides. Keep checking back here for more updates...
In the meantime, right click to download FG's great performance here
Like that, did you? A full hour of action is available on DVD - pay here to get your copy first
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Jason's explanation of why issue 6 isn't out yet:
It really did, it was just awesome. The track was bone dry both days and stupidly fast; you were on the brakes on a fair bit of it because if you let them off, it's that steep and dry that you accelerated at an alarming rate. After the first practice run, we all had arm pump so bad that we had to have a rest for ten minutes before going back up. The singletrack that was a rutted quagmire two weeks ago was now super fast (although still a little bit greasy in places) and let's just say that we were a mile out when we estimated that it was a six minute course, although it may have been in the wet. Steve Jones (who won Masters by a country mile) told Curtis that he was shitting himself, just as he set off for his second run.
12, Curtis and I hooked up with Rich and knocked around all weekend, sporting our fancy-doodle Stopadoodledoo race tops. Saturday was a bit of a strange one for me. I had my first ever clean run down the course in practice (no dabs or crashes - a real achievement, trust me) and felt good but in both race runs, I rode like a spacker and made loads of mistakes, as did Curtis and Rich. 12 on the other hand rode an absolute blinder in his second run and smoked the lot of us. The times were:
Curtis: 4:07 and 4:18
Rich: 4:07 and 4:18 (they are time twins)
Me: 4:02 and 4:03
12: 4:00 and 3:52
Sunday was a better day for everyone apart from Rich, who didn't have a good time of it at all. Times were:
Rich: 4:27 and 4:18 (bizarrely he didn't crash on his first run)
Curtis: 3:59 and 3:57
Me: 3:52 and 4:05
12: 3:51 and 4:59
Guess which run 12 and I crashed on . We were sat in 6th and 7th in Masters (when I last checked) after the first run and realised that we could get a sub 3:50 time with a bit more effort so went for it. Both of us were going a shit load faster than the first run, to the point where I was terrified going down the rocky section and both of us were pooing it on the singletrack. It was the singletrack that got me, in the rutted section before the evil roots. I was going far too fast and binned it, sliding off with my bike going one way and me the other. After that, I lost the impetus to try which if you think that I was only 3 seconds slower than my fastest clean run on Saturday should give an idea of how hard I was trying. 12 hit the kicker at teh end of the planks section and his front end washed out, depositing him in a heap in the middle of the track. He set off again but had lost a spoke or two and stopped to see what the weird noise was.
For the record, Alvar's best time (unless he got faster on his last run) was 4:09 and he really wanted to beat the Stopa boys. I thought that my encouraging shout of "There's no big wooden starting ramp here, Kent Boy" at the start would have helped him, but unfortunately it didn't.
BTW, the winning time was 3:00, posted by Marc Beaumont . That is fucking fast.
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Issue 5, here at last. After all that time messing around with wardrobes, drinking and thinking up excuses, here it is:
- Yeti review - you won't see one like this anywhere else
- Some splendid injuries
- Some shock news about downhilling
- All the usual lies, incompetence and festering idiocy you've come to expect
Just right click on the picture on the left, and Save link as...
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Alvar
Martin Dubrider |
A sloppy second
Right then, there's now a date for the second race at Penshurst. A new era of riders riding things for riders, organised by riders for riding things for riders, etc etc etc.
Hot on the heels of 2004's inaugural race, Martin Dubrider has got a piece in MBUK, and everyone should be champing at the bit for the second round
So what's coming up? Well, we're hard on the hunt for more sponsors, so if anyone's interested then email Jason or trot over to dubriders.co.uk
- DIGGING 23rd January 2005. Bring a shovel, a rake, a pair of gardening gloves, a pot of Baby Bio, whatever you've got to help grow another great course
- RACING 6th February 2005. Bring a shovel, a rake, a pair of gardening gloves, etc. Don't forget your pushbike too...
- Full timings will be posted on stopadoodledoo the day after. Honest, not just those glory hogs in the first three places :-)
- We may have flashy great big number boards (subject to sponsors chipping in
- More prizes
More to come as and when
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None more slack
Well, that was a real blast. The Pugilist failed to make it out, croaking into his mobile at 8am that he was 'still at a party... you gimlet' but 78 blokes and one woman went to mow a meadow / race the new track at Penshurst. It was cold, but it didn't rain at all and the course ran sweetly all day.
Proper pictures on phatphoto.com, and stuff by Cushtie and Mr Wa here once it comes back from Mr Kodak
As for timings, well, there were a few issues with getting the steampowered laptop at Porc to output any numbers, but here's the results from Martin@dubriders for first to third:
1. Paul Burford - Muddyfox - 00:53:10
2. Duane Stander - Evans Cycles - 00:53:17
3. Shay Finn - Team 5 Racing - 00:53:90
Read it and weep guys. Full results will appear from the next race onwards - report to follow asap...
Photos up at PhatPhoto now...
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Alvar, the man with the digger that made it all possible... (c) Phatphoto '04
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The virus spreads...
Time was when Stopadoodledoo would rage across the country, just in the hope that Cushtie would have a dog urinate over his helmet, or Jason would meet some monstrosities in a club in Minehead.
However, petrol costs a lot and natural laziness has left us spending more and more time doing drop offs on the kerbs in the Ikea car park, and not enough globe-trotting.
Thus it was a real surprise to get an email from the US:
I live in Florida, so I am accustomed to reading mountain bike
magazines featuring articles like: "26 ways to adjust your front
derailleur" which interests me at level minus 1, since I don't fucking
have a front derailleur.
Ah. So they must have What Mountain Bike and MBUK out there, then...and also somebody who's quite angry about all that.
A clerk in an adult book store where I was trying to buy a dildo for my girlfriend who would not go inside the place was reading DIRT. When I came out with a Brit bike magazine instead of something flexi with batteries, the tart gave me some shit.
Now this has confused and enthused us in equal measure. Quite what Dirt should only be found in adult book stores is a bit of a mystery.
As far as we know, Peter Stringfellow isn't sitting in his club right now, knocking one out over an American bike mag. (Then again, who knows?)
But on the other hand, everyone's suffered from having to follow the better half's orders at some point. What a brave act of defiance to come
out the shop with a downhill and dirt biking magazine, rather than twelve inches of spinning, vibrating rubber with a dubious name like 'The Legislator'
or 'The Big Punisher'?
Anyway, this seems too good an opportunity to pass up. More on our plans for worldwide domination when Cushtie gets back into this country...
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| Porc to the power of two
Just like the buses, you wait for ages and then two races come along at once.
Race 1: 12 December, like we already told you. Eyes right and you'll see a man
riding round a berm. Entry on the day only - next year when it's running nice and smooth and unhurried, you might get to enter in advance...
Prizes from dialled bikes up for grabs
Race 2: 27th December, just in time for you to break all your Christmas presents or cover them in mud. Entry forms for this are here (.doc) or here (.pdf).
- 3 runs fastest run counts.
- 7 categories
- 1st 2nd and 3rd.
- £10 under 16's
- £15 for over 16's
- prizes are not confirmed yet but we are waiting for
tee shirts from ex gear, and prizes from Cycle-ops and
wildside.
More pictures here
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12th. December 2004
PAY CLOSE ATTENTION
Remember racing at Porc, back in the summer? Or in the winter before that? Had you begun to wonder if there was ever going to be another chance to race there?
Well, after a long gap with not much going on, there's finally a race getting organised. Those cheeky Dubriders have sorted out a
digging day on the 5th to get the course back into shape again. There'll be a 4 ton digger there, but all people and spades are welcome to help groom things nice and tidily.
Then, on December 12, 2004 the Porc Race Series Without A Name will kick off.
- Two classes: 15 quid for over 16s, tenner for under
- Three runs each if we can fit them in, otherwise 2 each
- Prize for the fastest overall time - Cushtie's baking a cake and if not that, Jason's on the trail of a sponsor or two... more soon
- Prizes - the whole thing's being run to a tight budget, but there should be a few things for each class
- Racing starts at 11am - practice and signon until 10.30
Hungry for more details or up to the minute news on what's happening? Hurry over to dubriders.co.uk or UK Dirt for more information
Don't fancy racing before Christmas? Well, take a good look to your left, because that's what you'll end up like, some fat, ponytailed monstrosity stumbling around a 'Fun' arcade, wondering where your life went. Comprende?
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Issue 4 (August 2004 til next time)
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DOWNLOAD HERE, you slaaaaaags
Things to do while driving
Kobe Ti review
Urban streetrides
The truth about hardtails
World Exclusive on the new Honda mountain bike
Athletic training plans
Some other guff
Competition: win some handlebars!
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Want free stickers?
jason@stopadoodledoo.com
Want to know when the next issue comes out? james@stopadoodledoo.com
Want to read an old issue?
Issue 1 - dangerous sports, naked 12 Stone, Penshurst, 1000 word headset review
Issue 2 - Jonny Ball, Drunks On Holiday, a big bruise, "Who Needs Erections Anyway?"
Issue 3 - bicycle urination, freeride, clothing, journalism, BRIAN BLESSED!!!
Issue 4 - things to do on the motorway, hardtails, Kobe Ti II, world exclusive on the new Honda, yak yak yak
Issue 5 - Angry, very angry, something rude about Yetis, cheese, injuries
Want to see if we're selling anything on ebay this week?
Want to read something else?
Lonely and just want a chat? james@stopadoodledoo.com
Want something to listen to?
 
Or else listen to Ben Cushtie... |
